Super Happy Blog Time!

Hello!!!!

Do you like my very Engrish title? After going through Marina's, Freddie's and Tori's blogs, I have decided to do a random blog post!! Don't reeeaaally have anything in particular to say, but I feel left out :P I feel a lil giddy as well cos I've sorted all my essays nd CW out now, and all I have to worry about is my japanese listenin test on thurs, but I'm good at it so i'm not too worried :P (also a little giddy because I haven't eaten properly in like 5 days nd I've just eaten one of those chocolate elves with the crackling sugar :P mmmm, elves....Also, I have the gummy bear song on repeat :P loolz)

Anywho! I'm getting soooo excited! about coming home!! In fact, it's soooo exciting, that I'm giving you an itinery :P Aren't you lucky!?! :P

-Get up at 4am on Friday morning (Yeh that's right)

-Go to Hull Station to catch the 6am train to Stalybridge (If anyone knows where the hell this place is, details would be appreciated)

-At 8.02am, leave Stalybridge for Manchester Airport

-Arrive in Manchester Airport at...some point (Hopefully)

-Leave Manchester for Jersey at 10.15am

-Arrive in Jersey at 11.15am!!! Yay!

-Go home. Go to bed. Sleep (For the next 3 days ><;)

How exciting! I can't actually wait to see my beloved Team Marmite again! I have all your xmas presents sitting here :P Can't wait for you to see them! They're only little, but I wouldnt keep them if i was that heartless!

I was talking to my mum on the phone the other day, and she was like "Is there anything you want to eat when you come home on Friday?"

and I was like ":O Chicken Curry!!"

Seriously, I miss my mums cooking soooo much! I'm only catered for the evening meal here at the centre, but believe me kids, it's one meal too much ><

Erm...I'm sure I was gonna say other stuff but I've forgotten, lol :S

I'm ill, have to be up at 9 2moro and have problems sleeping...I should go to bed now!

Please comment Team Marmite!!!

Take Me With You

There's no one in town I know

You gave us some place to go.

I never said thank you for that.

I thought I might get one more chance.

What would you think of me now,

So lucky, so strong, so proud?

I never said thank you for that,

Now I'll never have a chance.

May angels lead you in.

Hear you me, my friends.

On sleepless roads the sleepless go.

May angels lead you in.

Now what would you think of me now,

So lucky, so strong, so proud?

I never said thank you for that,

Now I'll never have a chance.

May angels lead you in.

Hear you me, my friends.

On sleepless roads the sleepless go.

May angels lead you in.

And if you were with me tonight,

I'd sing to you just one more time.

A song for a heart so big,

God couldn't let it live.

May angels lead you in.

Hear you me, my friends.

On sleepless roads the sleepless go.

May angels lead you in.

May angels lead you in.

Hear you me, my friends.

On sleepless roads the sleepless go.

May angels lead you in.

May angels lead you in.

Snowy Sunset

I had a very calm experience this afternoon.

While I was walking back from food shopping in Cottingham (a little village about 5 minutes walk from my halls of residence), it started snowing.

Is wasnt heavy snow. It wasn't even very thick. In fact, it was the kinda of snow you can only see when you're not looking at it. Out of the corner of your eye, you can just see a few tiny white flakes. Try and look again, and they'll be gone.

At the time, I was listening to some very soft Japanese music; a couple of women were singing with a shamisen or two. I looked across over the lawn, and saw the sun starting to set.

The sky above me was turning a deep blue, and the sky on the horizon was a bright blue, with almost invisible, stretched-out clouds dotted lazily across it. You could just about see the light orange/pink of the sun going down.

Once I was back in my room, and after I'd eaten something (about 15 minutes ago), I looked out of my window and saw it snowing again, this time much thicker and faster. I rushed to grab my university hoodie so I wouldn't freeze, picked up my camera, and unlocked the door leading to my little balconey. After taking some pictures, I spent a few minutes just trying to catch the little white flakes.

I wish that the pictures you're about to see could really capture what it looked and felt like, but I think you'll just have to imagine it.

On another note, I promise to write a real blog soon!

"Sometimes I cry all night,
And it hurts so bad"

"The time has come", the walrus said

Dear Team Marmite,

This is it kids! at 9.00 tonight, I'm getting on a 3 hour boat to England, never to return! (Until Christmas that is).

I'll never forget all laughs, the in-jokes and the late nights out with you guys. I know lots of people say that they try to stay in contact with their friends from school, but never manage it, but I really want to succeed with you guys, my beloved Team Marmite.

I wish I could tell you all how much you mean to me, but I still haven't packed (!) so you'll just have to take my word for it instead.

You all have me added on Facebook, Msn and Skype, so there's no excuse for not talking :P

I'll see all of you at Christmas hopefully, when we can all catch-up.

Farewell!

Love Cecil

A big mistake
A big waste of time
And a big waste of money

I am a Kraken from the sea!

RAWR!!!!!!!!

OWWWWW! But so worth it.

I got my tenth and eleventh piercings yesterday ^_^ I got both nipples pierced with 1.6 guage barbells and omg! It hurt so much! But totally worth it, cos I love them
I went in and asked about it, and the girl who did the piercings said 'Ok, so am I doing the left or right?' And I said 'Erm, I'd like both, please?' 'Both?! Are you sure? Well, I'll put out the stuff for one, and if you still want the other one, we can do it after.'
so I got the right one done first and omg it hurt lol She peirced it with a 1.2 guage needle, but put 1.6 guage jewelry in, as it made the peircing much cleaner and it didn't bleed, but it hurt more because it stretched the peircing. Before she did the second one, she told me that she just needed to keep my sugar levels up because it had been a while since I had eaten something, so she gave me a chupa chup lolly ^_^ yay!
Everytime I look at them now I think 'I can't believe I did that!' but so worth it lol ^_^

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder

I tried absinthe for the first time today. I've been wanting to for a while after seeing it in several films that I just love! I didn't drink it as a shot that had been set alight (if it's good quality absinthe, it tastes foul afterwards anyway); I drank it the proper bohemian way with sugar and ice cold water. It tastes like liquorice and/or Sambuca! It's sooo yummy and such a pretty colour :3 It inspired me to draw a picture, which I love so much I'm thinking about getting it on a hoodie with 'Bellydancer' on. Happy days!

Hypercondriach Hallucinations

Taken from Marinas blog and adapted :)

Question: For your birthday, your aunt gave you a maple syrup dispenser shaped like a rooster. Please write her a thank-you note:
Dear Aunt,
Thank you far the maple syrup dispenser. It goes perfect in my funky kitchen next to my squid whisk and Sausage-dog pie-slicer. I've never made pancakes before, but now I have a good excuse.
Love
Rachel

Question: If there isn’t an ‘I’ in team, then why is there a ‘me’?
Well, the width of 'me' is thicker than that of 'I', and They wanted to make the word look longer. They did try it with 'I' though, honest.

Question: You've been entered in a shadow puppet contest. What's your best pose?
Well, if I kneel on the floor, curve backwards and bend my arms at the elbows, I become a cobra! Rawr!

Question: If you were a wrestler, what would be your finishing move?
I would poke my opponents eyes out with my fast shoulder-shimmy!

Question: Never mind the turtle. Don't you think you're sure to win?
Well, I've never been very good at races. And it's actually a pretty fast turtle...

Question: Whoops! Your tongue is now a magnet. Whatever will you use for silverware?
Well, I have three pairs of chopsticks, and they're pretty easy to get hold of, so I think I'll be ok.

Question: When you spilled the milk, did it look like the moon?
It was an awful lot of milk and under all the bright multicoloured lights in my kitchen, it was an almost perfect replica of the solar system!

Question: What did you dream when you ate a spider while sleeping?
I dreamt that I couldn't speak. I found it didn't make much of a difference in the end.

Question: Come up with some possible band names for your group that features a washboard and a Styrofoam tuba.
Wives with Knives, Shinobi and the Sushi Chefs, The Psycho-Students

Question: Unlike a dog, how can a turtle ever be naked?
Although I disagree that a dog can never be naked, to make a turtle naked, you simply remove the shell! Would it still be a turtle?

Question: You forgot your mom's birthday! What can you make out of super glue and olive pits?
A picture frame in the shape of too large flowers!

Question: Radio wire is often used to make bird nests. What station do they listen to?
Nightingale FM All birdsong, all the time! Though sometimes the male birds listen to Blue Tits on air! It's the radio station of the popular top shelf magazine, don't you know.

Question: What would you wear for camouflage if you were hiding in a gingerbread house?
I'd make the dough for gingerbread and cover myself in it. That witch will never spot me now!

Question: You're trapped in a well with a goat and a slinky. Describe how you will escape.
I would politely ask the goat if I could saw off his horns. I would then wrap the wires of the slinky around the horns and throw it upwards until it hooked onto something. I would then pick of the goat and climb to safety!

Question: What's the most amount of sand you've ever had in your swimming trunks?
I'm not sure exactly, but I made a model of the Taj Mahal out of it!

Question: What spells can you cast with magic markers?
All my pictures come to life, even things that were dead! Do you like my picture of a dragon?

Question: Your hands have been replaced by rubber stamps. What do they say?
Yes and no, so I could express my approval or disapproval!

Question: What reason do you have to believe the earth is flat?
I peeked over the edge and saw one of the elephants. He couldn't wave to me with his foot, or else the world would have tipped and some of the ocean would have dripped off, so he used his trunk instead!

Question: Your pyjamas have duckies on them. Why did you switch from choo-choos?
Because my pyjamas are magical and whatever is on them comes to life! Duckies are much more room-friendly than choo-choos...

Bitch, you need to shut your mouth

Have you ever had some whore you don't know having a go at you because she's paranoid and delusional? This happened to me today. A friend told me that another mutual friend made up a rumour about me in a game of truth or dare. Now I don't really mind, its all for fun, but as I didn't know who he was telling, I asked him if he could just not make up stuff like that about me again. I got a reply saying why should I care because I don't know the people he was telling. I said that I'd prefer it 'cos I don't make up stuff like that about my friends, And here is how the convo went on from there:
Friend:Well your not my friend and (name) does that on a weekly basis
Me: (Assuming it's my friend talking and not his 'girl-friend') Wow thanks, and how does she feel about ur obesssion you have with (one of my friends)?
Friend (Now revealed to be friends girl-friend): U wana break us up u stupid bitch (please bear in mind I don't actually know this girl)? (Friend/Her BF) Didn't go that far!
Me:Y would I wanna break you up? I don't care about you lol. And I'm hardly stupid if I'm going to uni to do a degree am I.
Friends GF: (Who clearly misses the point) Wats that got 2 do with anythin. Look, learn to take a joke n ive seen ur mate y wud he want her when he has me lmao (Well then clearly she hasn't seen my mate and obv. didn't hear what her BF said when he saw her...)
Me:Then y did he tell me and (another mate) what he thought about her? Anyway, I'm too mature for this convo and as I don't know you, I want you to stop texting me, you're wastin my inbox space.
End Conversation. Bitch clearly took a hint :)
Anyway, I know for a FACT how her BF felt about my friend because he told me and another friend. Huni, just because you're delusional and paranoid, don't take it out on the rest of us.
Update: Apparently this ho nd her bf are having a talk tonight, so clearly something stuck. Although she told my friend (who told me) that they may break up because of me. Right so, because they don't trust each other (which they don't because of something else along a very similar vein which happened that I'm not going to go into) and the slightest hint of anything like what I mentioned is just out of the question, they're going to blame the inevitable break up fo their relationship on me. Well, some people just can't handle honesty /shrug.

The Welsh Dragon 1936-2008

My Naini (Grandmother in Welsh) died yesterday. I guess it's a good thing in the end because she was in so much pain. She told me that she didn't want me to be unhappy, but I can't help it, even though I knew it was comming. All part of the grieving process I guess. I wish I had spent more time with her, perhaps tried to get to England a little more often.

The other weekend, when I had to get a plane to Hull 20mins after finding out I was going, I was listening to my iPod on the plane. The song Thank U by Alanis Morissette came on, and one of the lyrics just really hit me:

How about not equating death with stopping

I found this very meaningful because I get very worried about death and what comes after and I found this calmed me a little bit. She had a really strong faith and was ready to 'Go to Jesus' (as she said to my mother)

I really hope there's a heaven, for her. If there is, I know she'll be there.

The day she died ( 30th June) is also very meaning ful as it's the day my Grandad (Naini's husband and my mums Dad) died, and also my cousin Kavita's birthday.

My naini was really excited about me going to Hull university to study psychology. She said she wished she had those 3 years while I was living up there. This has made me more determined. I'm not going to be lazy about my uni work, like I have been at school. I'm going to get a 1st, and go on to study to become a doctor of Clinical psychology.

Naini, I miss you so much, I hope you're happy wherever you are.

Now, someone is just BEGGING for a slap...

And the Political Correctness brigade strikes again. Before I go off on one about how much PC irritates me soooo much(!), I'll tell you why I started this blog.
Long story short; I was on the Daily Mail website, and a story caught my eye. Apparently, a woman who runs her own alternative hair salon has lost a court case against a Muslim woman who sued her for £4,000 (not the original amount, however) because she felt she was being discriminated against because she covered her hair. Let me break this down; She wants to be a hair stylist, yet refused to un-cover her own hair. I know. Apparently, she's been turned down by jobs as a hair stylist before because of this, and the lady who ran this salon said it would have been the same for someone who refused to take a cap off. She wasn't being racist, she was being practical. If you want to know the bulk of the story, here's the link http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1027300/How-I-driven-brink-ruin-refusing-hire-Muslim-hair-stylist-wouldnt-hair.html
This story got me thinking about how stupid political correctness really is. We are so afraid of hurting other people because of discrimination, that we come across as idiots who don't judge a situation fairly. I have a book about political correctness, and I'm just gonna briefly summarise some of the stories. I honestly can't believe that some of these are true...

1. People have tried banning the nursery rhyme 'Baa Baa Black sheep' because it's racist and "portrayed negative stereotypes." I can't even comment on this one...
2. One place in England has stopped serving hot cross buns in schools because the symbol of the cross "will spark complaints from Jewish, Hindu and Muslim pupils and their families." A spokesperson stated "We are moving away from a religious theme for Easter and will not be doing hot cross buns...We will probably be serving naan breads instead." Ok, first of all, Easter is a religious holiday! It's a Christian holiday celebrating the resurrection of Jesus! Also, how is serving naan bread better? I love naan bread, but it's not like it's a universal thing, is it? It's Middle Eastern and Indian, hardly multi-cultural.
3. A book by a prize-winning author was not stocked in libraries in an area in London because it reinforced racist messages. "We were surprised you chose to use a circus with performing animals. In our experience this is now widely disliked by most carers, who recognises that it raises issues about animal rights...The storyline of a child being threatened by this creature [a gorilla, normally pictured-as in this book-in black fur] and saved by a little white horse seems to be very insensitive. The presentation of a black, apelike creature as evil and small white creature as good has obvious overtones which many carers find offensive, and which they would not wish to use with children and young people because they may reinforce racist messages." ...

I feel so disgusted with humanity that I feel like slapping myself right now...

A Belleh-Dans-Ah!

Surprisingly, this blog is not going to be depressing, shock horror! :O

Nah, it's just a random piece of info I feel like sharing.

So, I was England over the weekend, and inbetween visiting my Naini in hospital and buying two dresses, four pairs of shoes and a bikini, I was talking to my Aunty Anna about when I was coming over for university (they live 10mins away from the campus). Somehow, we started talking about bellydancing, and my aunt was saying how much the girls at the youth club she and my uncle run would be so interested in something like that. So I said about how much I love it and how I love sharing it with other people; not just the actual physical movements, but the history, and the health and emotional benefits.

So, one thing lead to another and now I think I'm going to be teaching bellydancing to a group of girls when I go to uni :D I can't wait!

I think I'm going to be sick...

I'm so stressed out with these exams. I just keep thinking about how fucking important they are and how screwed I am if I don't do well. I can't even revise properly. I try. But I just keep getting distracted and start thinking Oh god, I'm reeeeaaaally fucked this time.
I have 70 studies to learn for Psychology and right now, I could only probably tell you about one, and that's cos I did it in year 12 too.
People keep saying that it will be fine and not to get stressed out, but how can I not!? I can't concentrate on revising properly, and everytime my mind goes back to my work, I just keep thinking about how much I have to do!
I just feel like I'm going to be physically sick sometimes.

Oh soot balls...

Aren't these lil' guys just the best characters in Miyazaki's Spirited Away?

tHe NoBoDy GiRl

Something has been confirmed for me this week.
We were watching a video today of all of our class (well, almost all of us) playing pranks on teachers and slide shows of photos.
I wasn't in any of the photos.
The video I did wasn't put on either.
They also spelt my name wrong during the 'credits'.
I've been to this school since I was 5.
I was also reading a blog today which didn't really help my feelings of being over looked, but I'm not going into that.
I really didn't want to write another depressing blog my last week of school. I'm trying not to cry about all this. I just didn't expect that this is what my last week of school would feel like.
Sometimes, I just feel so isolated that I can't stand it. I'll be out with my friends and feel all alone. There's no one that I can think of that I can really relate to; that I can really trust; that really understands me, all of me.
Like I said at the start of this that something had been confirmed for me.
That thing is the realisation that I am, in a word; Average.
I'm not obese, but I'm not slim.
I'm not ugly, but I'm not pretty.
I'm not really bad at any subject, but I'm not really good either.
I don't have any particular personality traits, good or bad, that I feel make me stand out.
I don't have any hobbies at which I'm really good at (Don't say belly dancing because, again, I'm not bad, but neither am I really good).
This will probably all sound like self-pity. I don't want it to, that's not how I want it to come across. I just want people to realise that even small things can affect people, so that, with friends in the future, they'll be more careful.
I wanted this week to be sad, but in a happy way. I'd have photos with my friends, joke around, have fun. I wanted to be loud and laughing on Friday at school, then go out with my friends afterwards.
I just feel so overlooked and ignored, so lonely. I felt segregated enough as it is.
I want acknowledgement from other people so much that I almost constantly refresh my email page, in the hopes of a note from a friend. I even change my opinions on things because I think that people will talk to me more about something if they think I share the view (also to avoid conflict), similar to why I use 'Lol' so much on msn, even when I'm being serious about something.
I'm not sure if many (or any) of those who read this blog understand that the only reason I haven't tried killing myself yet is because, when I've held the scissors against my arm (and I have), I've lacked the courage of my convictions to press down just that little bit harder.
I'm not using colours in this blog post. The font and colour will be average.
Like me.

Talk is cheap.

GoOd DaY

So you dont want to hear about my good song?

And you dont want to hear about how I am getting on

With all the things that I can get done

The sun is in the sky & I am by my lonesome

So you don't want to hear about my good day?

You have better things to do (than hear me say)

Trust and lack thereof.

Trust in me,
Just in me
Shut your eyes
And trust in me
You can sleep
Safe and sound
Knowing I am around

We all know the story in the Jungle Book of the snake who hypnotises Mowgli into a false sense of security and then tries to eat him. The world is full of snakes who we start to trust, just before they turn around and stab us in the back. Sometimes these people probably don't even realise what they're doing. I'm sure the people in the story I'm about to tell you don't even remember what happened, and if they're minds did wander to it for just a second, they'd probably assume that I'd forgotten too. However, I'm the kind of person who finds it hard to forget when I've been knifed in the back. Let's begin:

The Scene: A secondary school.
The time Period: A couple of weeks before the Summer holidays.
The Characters: A group of friends. Main four characters are; Blonde #1, Blonde #2, Red and DarkBrown. Other characters in the group will be collectively referred to as Rainbow . Small reference to another member of Rainbow who will be referred to as LightBrown.

Let the Show begin.

Blonde #1 was very upset. Blonde #2 always made jokes about her weight in front of her. Blonde #2 didn't mean these in a serious way, but her humour was getting Blonde #1 very down. Blonde #1 had been friends with Red since primary school, so she asked Red to speak to Blonde #2 and ask her nicely to stop making jokes about Blonde #1's weight, as it was upsetting her. So, as Red could see how this was making Blonde #1 feel, she agreed to speak to Blonde #2 the next time the jokes came up.
When this happened, Blonde #2 accused Red of taking it too seriously and insisted that it was just a joke. Red told Blonde #2 that she understood this, but felt that it wasn't very good for Blonde #1's self-esteem and besides, Blonde #1 had asked her herself. Blonde #2 got very angry with Red and told her that she was being stupid. Blonde #2 and Red had a 'falling-out' and could barely stand to be in the same room (which is interesting because before hand, Blonde #2 and Red got on very well). However, this didn't stay just between Blonde #2 and Red. Rainbow decided to take Blonde #2's side, even though Red was just trying to stick up for a friend. Funnily enough, Rainbow included Blonde #1, even though it was her fault that Red got excluded in the first place and Red had been trying to help her out. The only one of Rainbow who was still speaking to Red was DarkBrown. DarkBrown understood what Red had been trying to do and stood by her, like all friends should. However, DarkBrown was going on holiday just before Summer, and therefore wouldn't be with Red for the last 2 weeks of school. Those last 2 weeks where some of the loneliest in Red's life. All of Rainbow (including Blonde #1) was ignoring her and for those 2 weeks, Red hardly spoke at all. Just before the beginning of the Summer holidays, something happened to make all of Rainbow (grudgingly) start speaking to Red again. There was a prize giving assembly and Red won an award for Art. Instead of congratulating her, Rainbow approached Red and said "We all thought that LightBrown should have won the prize for Art."
But at least they started speaking again, right?

Red never got an apology from anyone in Rainbow. Not even from Blonde #1.

Obviously this isn't the only incident where I've had my trust broken. I've been cheated on twice, once where my b/f cheated on me with my best friend. I trusted her more than anyone else and she wasn't even the one to tell me that they were going out, another friend did that for her. I didn't get an apology from her either.
I hope that all of 'Rainbow' read this.
Here's to all those people who think it's alright to betray the trust of others.
Kampai.

Bellydancing 101

As anyone who reads this blog knows (I'm assuming it's just friends), I bellydance...Well, duh. Anywho, I thought I'd share some info about it, as there are many misconceptions about bellydance; this is more than just shaking our bums. I'll go through a few misconceptions first, then see what else I can come up with.

So, Bellydancing 101;

1)Belly dancers are stippers...No, we are NOT strippers. We do not take our clothes off when we dance. Bellydancers can dance better than any stripper with all our clothes on, thank you very much. The reason the majority of costumes are made up of a bra and skirt/trouser combo is because if you're doing a bellyroll (contracting different muscles of the stomach at different times to give a wave effect), no one is going to see it very well if you have something covering your tummy! Which brings me to my next point;

2) You have to show your belly. Lies! Lies and slander! Lots of costumes do have the stomach covered. In caberet/Egyptian, you can wear elaborate skin tight dresses which flare out at the knee; in the style Baladi, it's traditional to wear a loose dress with a hip scarf holding it tight against your hips; if you find any paintings of older styles of costumes, you'll see that the costume consists of either a turkish vest, harem pants, a hip scarf and a see-through, loose dress kind of thing underneath, or the same as above but with an overcoat instead of a turkish vest. I've been going to classes for about a year, and we've never had to show our stomachs in class, unless of course we're showing/being shown how to do a bellyroll, as I have 'volunteered' to do a couple of times.

3) We all have lovely slim figures. Ha! Bellydancers come in all shapes and sizes. There's no such thing as a perfect shape anyway. The famous Tribal-fusion Bellydancer who made me want to start American Tribal Style and Tribal-fusion myself (Rachel Brice), said herself that she was inspired by a large bellydancer. In fact, in bellydancing, the curvyer you are, the easier it is! If you're shimmying (bending and straightening your knees to create a piston-type effect, pushing your hips up and down, one after the other) it's soooo much easier if you have more meat on your bones, 'cos there's less work to do! Your fat does the majority of the shaking for you! It's great. See? There is a reason for it!

4)Only women can bellydance. Bull, lol. At one point in history, women were banned from bellydancing. So, men dressed up as women and performed instead! If you look on youtube, you can find loads of videos of male bellydancers. In the caberat/Egyptian style, it may come off a little...camp, but it's still fantastic to watch, a male tribal bellydancers are also very popular. It's traditional a female thing, but this doesn't mean that men can't do it too!


5)Bellydancing was created to entertain men. Again, this is crap. It was actually a rite of passage. Women learned to bellydance from their mothers and other female relatives starting from a very young age. The original point of bellydancing was to ease the pains of childbirth, as the movements with the hips increase bloodflow into the pelvic area (I sound like a textbook >.<). Bellydancing was by women, for women. It was not to entertain men, and the majority of bellydancers will not dance for a male only audience (goes back to the whole stripper thing). I see nothing wrong with practicing some moves in front of friends (I have practiced in front of a male friend once for opinions), but I wouldn't do a male-only performance (unless we were married and I got something in return ;) heh heh heh :P). Related to this, is the taboo surrounding the word 'Harem'. In our western culture, a Harem was where a Sultans concubines were, lounging around and and existing purely to entertain him. Harem actually means 'Forbidden place' (coming from a Turkish/Arabic word) and it was the part of the house where only women and men of the family were allowed to go. This was to protect the women from strange men. Although I don't entrily agree with that kind of thing either, it was not a place where women hung around, half-naked all for one man, ok?!

That's pretty much all I can think of on the misconceptions front, but I'm sure there will be more! Lets talk props bitches!

1)Veil- Not something you wear round your face. A veil is a large piece of material that we swing around and make dances look more elaborate and purdy. Lots of fun!

2)Zills- or finger-cymbals. Complicated to use, you have to practice while you move, otherwise when you try dancing with them, you'll just get confused. Basic rythmn is rightleftright rightleftright rightleftright etc etc.









3)Canes- Traditional with the baladi style, originally making fun of a mens dance, which used large sticks and simulated fighting. Canes get swung around, hit on the floor and balanced on various places. Fun! ^_^

4)Swords- These are specially balanced and blunt for dancing. Seriously, you'd have to be very good/crazy to dance with a sharp sword. These don't really get thrown around, like canes, but they are used mainly in balance. They look amazing!

5)Wings of Isis- although they have a very posh sounding name, these aren't traditional bellydance props like the four above. Mainly used in cabaret/Egyptian, but there's a video of a girl on youtube doing a Tribal-Fusion dance with these!

6)Fans- Going more into Fusion bellydance now, these can look really spectacular, especially if in Tribal and they're all snapped out the same time.








7)Fan Veils- I love these! I have two! They are baisically bamboo fans with silk attached and look amazing open or closed! Again, these are mainly used in tribal-fusion.











8)Tray of candles- Another balancing act! Best to practice whilst they aren't lit so that you can get the position of the candles right to balance with.











9)Fire fans, Poi etc- Woo! Pyromania! These can be used like fans in bellydance, they're just something a bit different.








So, there's a little insight on bellydancing! an amazing way to keep fit, make new friends and just generally feel good about yourself. I'd recomend it to anyone!

Love me, That's all I ask of you

Sometimes, I wish I could read minds. I wish I could see how people are feeling, so that I could act accordingly. I don't want to do anything which I think may give people a negative feeling, especially about me. Some people, I just don't care. But others, especially my friends, I'm always worried about what I do incase I do something 'wrong'. I know that's backwards; I shouldn't worry how my friends react, because, in the end, they love me anyway...don't they? I was talking to Marina and Freddie in the Bean the other day, and (I don't remember how) but we were talking about hugs. I explained that I didn't like to be the one to initiate hugs or physical contact. This isn't 'cos I don't like it; quite the opposite, but I'm always worried about how whoever I'm hugging will react. Are they in the mood for a hug? Do they really need one right now? What if they don't like it? What if they think I'n strange? Maybe, they don't want to be touched right now? I've tried hugging people before, and they've pulled away from me, or looked at me strangly. I've been called clingy before too. Sometimes, I just feel so happy or so upset or so relaxed that I just want to feel close to another human being. I wish I had the confidence to just go up to someone I want to hug, and go for it! But, I can't. Here's some facts I found about hugs:

• Every human being needs four hugs per day merely to survive.



• Eight hugs per day to maintain oneself at a strong emotional level.



• Twelve hugs per day to grow and become a better person.

Four hugs to survive? Am I dead?

On a (reeeaaally random) side note, here's a personality test I came across :D Generally, it's all pretty true, though I don't know about the whole 'forceful' thing :S And am I well-respected?
Your personality type:
Quietly forceful (erm I don't think so ^_^), original and sensitive. Tend to stick to things until they are done. Extremely intuitive about people and concerned for their feelings. Well-developed value systems which they strictly adhere to. Well-respected for their perserverence in doing the right thing. Likely to be individualistic, rather than leading or following.

Careers that could fit you includes:
Counselors, clergy, missionaries, teachers, medical doctors, dentists, chiropractors, psychologists (woo!), psychiatrists, writers, musicians, artists, psychics, photographers, child care workers, education consultants, librarians (haha!), marketeers, scientists, social workers.

(Pictures here ARE NOT MINE! They belong to various artists on deviantart)

When life hands you a lemon, throw it back and yell "I ordered a milkshake!"

In life, what you ask for/expect is rarely what you're given. You have a nice little plan of how you'd like something to turn out and then BANG! It doesn't work like that. Similarly, your could be hoping for somethings and then Oh! Look at that! It's actually going your way. So what's the problem? Well, you're having doubts now. I'm in my last few months as an A-level student and in sept/oct I'll be going to university. I've gotten into my first two choices (providing I get the grades) and I loved both of them when I went to visit. I'm going to do 3 years basic psychology, then hopefully another 3 years to become a doctor of clinical psychology. Here's the thing; I'm just not sure anymore. I have a friend who is going to study music technology. This girl LIVES for her music lessons. She's in a band, she's gonna have her own single out soon. She's just so passionate about it and she's so good at it! I wish I was as passionate and good at something as she is. Like, I'd love to do something really creative. Example; I like to draw, I can draw doodles nd little designs etc etc stuff like that, but I'm nothing special. It's good but not good. Also, writing. I have so many little stories in my head (I'm an escape-fantasist- I zone out a lot at inappropriet times), but when I try to write, it just sounds terrible. Really. Have you ever had the urge to like pack every thing you've planned in and do something completely random? Well, at the moment, I'm really into making cakes and cookies. And I'm good at it! I can time perfectly how long cupcakes should be in so that they're not hard, but not undercooked. I'm really experimental with icings and flavourings (I invented turkish-delight and chocolate cupcakes, with some help from a friend last year when we made a big turkish-delight cake). I made chocolate chip cookies today from a little instant pack thing from the shop. I thought it said add two 'tablespoons' of water to the mix. Added the water, read the box again after; it said 'teaspoons'. Fuck. I can invent my own cupcakes and they come out great. Give me and instant box and I botch it up! Thing is though, after adding a little flour to try to even it out and putting them in to bake, they still came out perfectly! I screw up big time and it still works! But, I digress. My point is I just don't know if I should do psychology for good. I want to do something creative. What the fuck am I doing?!