Love me, That's all I ask of you

Sometimes, I wish I could read minds. I wish I could see how people are feeling, so that I could act accordingly. I don't want to do anything which I think may give people a negative feeling, especially about me. Some people, I just don't care. But others, especially my friends, I'm always worried about what I do incase I do something 'wrong'. I know that's backwards; I shouldn't worry how my friends react, because, in the end, they love me anyway...don't they? I was talking to Marina and Freddie in the Bean the other day, and (I don't remember how) but we were talking about hugs. I explained that I didn't like to be the one to initiate hugs or physical contact. This isn't 'cos I don't like it; quite the opposite, but I'm always worried about how whoever I'm hugging will react. Are they in the mood for a hug? Do they really need one right now? What if they don't like it? What if they think I'n strange? Maybe, they don't want to be touched right now? I've tried hugging people before, and they've pulled away from me, or looked at me strangly. I've been called clingy before too. Sometimes, I just feel so happy or so upset or so relaxed that I just want to feel close to another human being. I wish I had the confidence to just go up to someone I want to hug, and go for it! But, I can't. Here's some facts I found about hugs:

• Every human being needs four hugs per day merely to survive.



• Eight hugs per day to maintain oneself at a strong emotional level.



• Twelve hugs per day to grow and become a better person.

Four hugs to survive? Am I dead?

On a (reeeaaally random) side note, here's a personality test I came across :D Generally, it's all pretty true, though I don't know about the whole 'forceful' thing :S And am I well-respected?
Your personality type:
Quietly forceful (erm I don't think so ^_^), original and sensitive. Tend to stick to things until they are done. Extremely intuitive about people and concerned for their feelings. Well-developed value systems which they strictly adhere to. Well-respected for their perserverence in doing the right thing. Likely to be individualistic, rather than leading or following.

Careers that could fit you includes:
Counselors, clergy, missionaries, teachers, medical doctors, dentists, chiropractors, psychologists (woo!), psychiatrists, writers, musicians, artists, psychics, photographers, child care workers, education consultants, librarians (haha!), marketeers, scientists, social workers.

(Pictures here ARE NOT MINE! They belong to various artists on deviantart)

When life hands you a lemon, throw it back and yell "I ordered a milkshake!"

In life, what you ask for/expect is rarely what you're given. You have a nice little plan of how you'd like something to turn out and then BANG! It doesn't work like that. Similarly, your could be hoping for somethings and then Oh! Look at that! It's actually going your way. So what's the problem? Well, you're having doubts now. I'm in my last few months as an A-level student and in sept/oct I'll be going to university. I've gotten into my first two choices (providing I get the grades) and I loved both of them when I went to visit. I'm going to do 3 years basic psychology, then hopefully another 3 years to become a doctor of clinical psychology. Here's the thing; I'm just not sure anymore. I have a friend who is going to study music technology. This girl LIVES for her music lessons. She's in a band, she's gonna have her own single out soon. She's just so passionate about it and she's so good at it! I wish I was as passionate and good at something as she is. Like, I'd love to do something really creative. Example; I like to draw, I can draw doodles nd little designs etc etc stuff like that, but I'm nothing special. It's good but not good. Also, writing. I have so many little stories in my head (I'm an escape-fantasist- I zone out a lot at inappropriet times), but when I try to write, it just sounds terrible. Really. Have you ever had the urge to like pack every thing you've planned in and do something completely random? Well, at the moment, I'm really into making cakes and cookies. And I'm good at it! I can time perfectly how long cupcakes should be in so that they're not hard, but not undercooked. I'm really experimental with icings and flavourings (I invented turkish-delight and chocolate cupcakes, with some help from a friend last year when we made a big turkish-delight cake). I made chocolate chip cookies today from a little instant pack thing from the shop. I thought it said add two 'tablespoons' of water to the mix. Added the water, read the box again after; it said 'teaspoons'. Fuck. I can invent my own cupcakes and they come out great. Give me and instant box and I botch it up! Thing is though, after adding a little flour to try to even it out and putting them in to bake, they still came out perfectly! I screw up big time and it still works! But, I digress. My point is I just don't know if I should do psychology for good. I want to do something creative. What the fuck am I doing?!