Hypercondriach Hallucinations

Taken from Marinas blog and adapted :)

Question: For your birthday, your aunt gave you a maple syrup dispenser shaped like a rooster. Please write her a thank-you note:
Dear Aunt,
Thank you far the maple syrup dispenser. It goes perfect in my funky kitchen next to my squid whisk and Sausage-dog pie-slicer. I've never made pancakes before, but now I have a good excuse.
Love
Rachel

Question: If there isn’t an ‘I’ in team, then why is there a ‘me’?
Well, the width of 'me' is thicker than that of 'I', and They wanted to make the word look longer. They did try it with 'I' though, honest.

Question: You've been entered in a shadow puppet contest. What's your best pose?
Well, if I kneel on the floor, curve backwards and bend my arms at the elbows, I become a cobra! Rawr!

Question: If you were a wrestler, what would be your finishing move?
I would poke my opponents eyes out with my fast shoulder-shimmy!

Question: Never mind the turtle. Don't you think you're sure to win?
Well, I've never been very good at races. And it's actually a pretty fast turtle...

Question: Whoops! Your tongue is now a magnet. Whatever will you use for silverware?
Well, I have three pairs of chopsticks, and they're pretty easy to get hold of, so I think I'll be ok.

Question: When you spilled the milk, did it look like the moon?
It was an awful lot of milk and under all the bright multicoloured lights in my kitchen, it was an almost perfect replica of the solar system!

Question: What did you dream when you ate a spider while sleeping?
I dreamt that I couldn't speak. I found it didn't make much of a difference in the end.

Question: Come up with some possible band names for your group that features a washboard and a Styrofoam tuba.
Wives with Knives, Shinobi and the Sushi Chefs, The Psycho-Students

Question: Unlike a dog, how can a turtle ever be naked?
Although I disagree that a dog can never be naked, to make a turtle naked, you simply remove the shell! Would it still be a turtle?

Question: You forgot your mom's birthday! What can you make out of super glue and olive pits?
A picture frame in the shape of too large flowers!

Question: Radio wire is often used to make bird nests. What station do they listen to?
Nightingale FM All birdsong, all the time! Though sometimes the male birds listen to Blue Tits on air! It's the radio station of the popular top shelf magazine, don't you know.

Question: What would you wear for camouflage if you were hiding in a gingerbread house?
I'd make the dough for gingerbread and cover myself in it. That witch will never spot me now!

Question: You're trapped in a well with a goat and a slinky. Describe how you will escape.
I would politely ask the goat if I could saw off his horns. I would then wrap the wires of the slinky around the horns and throw it upwards until it hooked onto something. I would then pick of the goat and climb to safety!

Question: What's the most amount of sand you've ever had in your swimming trunks?
I'm not sure exactly, but I made a model of the Taj Mahal out of it!

Question: What spells can you cast with magic markers?
All my pictures come to life, even things that were dead! Do you like my picture of a dragon?

Question: Your hands have been replaced by rubber stamps. What do they say?
Yes and no, so I could express my approval or disapproval!

Question: What reason do you have to believe the earth is flat?
I peeked over the edge and saw one of the elephants. He couldn't wave to me with his foot, or else the world would have tipped and some of the ocean would have dripped off, so he used his trunk instead!

Question: Your pyjamas have duckies on them. Why did you switch from choo-choos?
Because my pyjamas are magical and whatever is on them comes to life! Duckies are much more room-friendly than choo-choos...