My Naini (Grandmother in Welsh) died yesterday. I guess it's a good thing in the end because she was in so much pain. She told me that she didn't want me to be unhappy, but I can't help it, even though I knew it was comming. All part of the grieving process I guess. I wish I had spent more time with her, perhaps tried to get to England a little more often.
The other weekend, when I had to get a plane to Hull 20mins after finding out I was going, I was listening to my iPod on the plane. The song Thank U by Alanis Morissette came on, and one of the lyrics just really hit me:
How about not equating death with stopping
I found this very meaningful because I get very worried about death and what comes after and I found this calmed me a little bit. She had a really strong faith and was ready to 'Go to Jesus' (as she said to my mother)
I really hope there's a heaven, for her. If there is, I know she'll be there.
The day she died ( 30th June) is also very meaning ful as it's the day my Grandad (Naini's husband and my mums Dad) died, and also my cousin Kavita's birthday.
My naini was really excited about me going to Hull university to study psychology. She said she wished she had those 3 years while I was living up there. This has made me more determined. I'm not going to be lazy about my uni work, like I have been at school. I'm going to get a 1st, and go on to study to become a doctor of Clinical psychology.
Naini, I miss you so much, I hope you're happy wherever you are.
1 comment:
Well as i said to you before hun, i subscribe to the Terry Pratchet view that whatever we really believe happens after death, is exactly what happens to us.
Dunno who it was but someone said "time is the greatest healer" and its something i've found to be true. Just remember the good times you had with her and how much she loved you.
And how much your still loved by others.
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